my thoughts on "not knowing"

Mo' Hawkins July 10 at 5:15pm

"not knowing." i hate that term. it freaks people out. humans need to know shit. right? the idea of not knowing is too immense to process. Not knowing how I'm gonna get from A to B to C and so on is terrifying. But, replace "not knowing" with "trusting" ... "Trusting is a wonderful place to be."

"Trusting is a wonderful place to be." and it IS.

It comes down to letting go of control, letting go of the ego, and getting out of your head. Less figuring out, more finding out. And believe me... that's terrifying and that takes YEARS. Years of re-programming your brain and thought pattern. But, it's about trusting what you do not know. You don't know what your next job may be, you don't know who you're going to fall in love with, you don't know how you are going to finish writing this book, you don't know how you're going to get wealthy, you don't know, you don't know, but you TRUST that you'll get there. But how does someone do that? How does someone trust without knowing? It comes down to faith, and learning how to let go, i think.

You know, all the great leaders and artists, all the great people in history, they had no idea how they were going to accomplish what they ended up accomplishing. They went one step at a time, and they eventually had to end up trusting in something they did not know. They had to take a leap of faith.

It comes down to trusting that YOU are guided. Guided by what? The Universe, your intuition, your muses, spirit guides, guardian angels, God, Jesus, Allah, whatever floats your boat, whatever metaphor you can relate to. Trusting that the Universe is on your side, and that the Universe has everything taken care of. In other words, if you trust and allow yourself to dream big, then it's trusting that the Universe will scheme big, for YOU.

For example, I do lots of traveling in my life, and I don't have lots of money, either. Especially this January I went to Europe for 2 months. Two months before I left, in November, I nearly had a panic attack because I did not know how I was going to fund this trip. I had some money saved, I had some airfare already purchased, but the whole thing was so huge, and seemed so pricey, I thought that I would not be able to manage it. BUT THEN. I stopped. I took a breath. And I let it go. I trusted that the Universe had everything under control. I had work lined up throughout all of November and December, I would save and everything would work out, because I spoke to my inner self and I knew, deep down in my core I knew that this trip was not NOT happening. I knew I was never NOT going. Read me? I was never NOT going to go out to London and live with Wided. It was meant to happen. It was never NOT happening. So I didn't allow my little panic episode for 2 hours interrupt or divert this moment in my life which was MEANT to happen. I knew it was meant to happen because it felt SO RIGHT. I trusted my self, I trusted those feelings. The money issue was still an issue, but I let the worries go, knowing that somehow, someway, I would muster up enough funds, that I would work hard and budget carefully. And lo and behold, it all worked out. My god, I look back now and I don't even know how it all happened. But I went and had plenty of money to cover what I needed to do.

I don't mean to sound evangelical, but really, faith is marvelous device that humans came up with. It is a fantastic tool to get people from A to B to C. Homie I don't go to any church, but I will meditate, I will pray, I will breathe. And that's the faith I chose. Stay connected to your inner voice and you have all the answers. Trust what you do not know.

"But I don't know what's next for me," you may ask, "I don't know what to do after {blank}" ... all i know is this: trust that you will find an answer. read the signs. notice what you notice. let your intuition guide you in the right direction. If you don't know how to access your intution (or inner voice, same shit), then you must learn how to relax and breathe. That's step one. Breathing and listening.

peace