the search

"...they said researchers found that longterm happiness doesn't come from material things but rather taking trips because the memories create the happiness we so desire...DUH." - Sarai

hahaha YES. Sarai you are absolutely right, and the researchers are right on the nose too. Taking trips, yes this we already knew. It probably explains why I'm basically so happy about my life- I'm always making trips.

But what concerns me... is the pervalent idea of a "pursuit." There is such a market out there for "pursuing happiness" or for "finding your bliss." And with all this capitalist/material hubub, yeah it can definitely feel like you gotta have those new clothes from JCrew or that new car in order to feel good, to feel whole.

And that's the problem as I see it. Too many people are walking around with holes. They are walking around waiting for happiness to just waltz into their life. Or, if they aren't waiting, they're investing in all kinds of stuff, from material objects to oracles and palm readers. And if they aren't waiting or investing, they're on the move desperately searching. They're waiting or they're desperately searching it seems for "the one" person who is going to change them, who's going to "complete" them.

I hate it when two people are in a relationship and they start staying "he/she's my other half." He/She is your other half?!!? OKAY, STOP. We have problems. There ain't no body who is your other half. Because YOU, my friend, are WHOLE. Okay? You are a whole person, and your partner is another whole person. Together you do NOT complete one another, together you compliment one another. It's two wholes coming together.

But it's this attitude. And then you have people just running. Jetting off to different places to go on trips, or to "find themselves." And I think phrases like that are just giant traps. Umm... where are going to find yourself, again? In some bazaar in Egypt? At the Taj Mahal when you visit India? Trust me, you're not in Egypt, you're right where you are. This idea that you have to go search, that you have to find your bliss, the idea that you aren't good enough the way that you are.

This is what I don't like. Because- um breaking news- you are WHOLE. And your happiness is on your own terms. If one can just find a way to relax, if they can listen to their inner voice, their intuition, and then pick up your cues, than one can have happiness right in their bedroom, in the shower, in the car, or even in the Giant on Braddock Road.

Looking at my own life, it's crazy because I've participated in this desperate "search" for years. In the summer of 2007 I ran off to London, after months and months of saving, thinking I'd show up off the plane a new and renewed person. Didn't happen. That was a very hard trip for me-- ended up being incredible, but it was challenging on so many levels. And for years I've been doing tarot card readings and studying other new age-related forms of holistic healing. It's very fascinating and I dabble in it every so often, but again it's another device. A device that usually gives me a false illusion. I was hoping for an easy answer or an easy way out, and life just doesn't have that path for anyone. Everyone has to handle their shit, handle their own demons, but once you face what you need to face, the idea of happiness is really extraordinarily laborless. Because it's about experiencing gratitude and appreciation for what you have right in front of you.
...AND THEN you go on trips and the bliss just gets even more flippin' out of CONTROL!! :D