The Vision, or Can Theresa Cheung Take Two Steps Back Please?!

So who knew a stupid little Birthday Book off the bargain rack in Borders would hold so much valuable information!? And WHO THE FUCK is this psychic Theresa Cheung who apparently has the ability to know about everybody's shit? Frightening.

Here's a little bit of what she has to say about me, and most of it is pretty accurate...

My greatest challenge is being decisive.

She says how lucky I am in life is directly related to how much I believe I am worthy of luck. The more I think that success and happiness are my birthright, the luckier I will behave and be.

On my dark side, I am needy, confused and moody. At my best I am innovative, entertaining and vivacious.

I am the birthday of the sensitive exuberence.

She says that if I can find a way to balance my sensitivity toward others with my ambitious urge to realize my own life goals, then my success is assured.

In LOVE, she says I can be sexy, entertaining, responsive and romantic as long as my partner gives me plenty of attention. It is important for me to have a partner who is giving and energetic as I am.

In HEALTH, she says I am prone to stress and depression and can tend to have a rather negative image of myself. Boosting self-esteem is therefore absolutely crucial to both physical and emotional health. A re-programing of thoughts may be able to help me change their outlook from negative to positive.

In CAREER, she says I am a born innovator. People born on this day may be drawn to careers in science, research, or technology where they can be potential innovators, as well as the world of art, music and literature, where they can excel as writers. Once they believe more in themselves, other career options might include business, teaching, lecturing, politics, and the world of entertainment.

In DESTINY, "to point others in the direction of progress. . . . the life path of people born on this day is to learn to believe in themselves and their creativity more. Once they are able to discover their sense of purpose, their destiny is to achieve or point the way to tangible progress on behalf of themselves and others."


damn SISTER!


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So Vision, let me break it down. I read this and was totally shocked by how a woman I've never met could have basically summed up my shit, so simply and in black & white. Seriously, quite terrifying.

"pointing people in the direction of progress" I really like the phrase. And it's exactly what I want to do with my life.

What am I interested in?

I am interested in stories. I believe stories are vital. We need words like we need bread, we need stories because stories teach us how to live.

So I'm resigned to wrestle with stories for the rest of my life.

I like stories about people. real people. about humanity.

I love character flaws. And I love to investigate why we do the things that we do.

Less about the grand political-socio-economic, more about the Individual. I'm interested in journey. Journey of the individual, the relationship, the family unit, the community.

Matters that deal with the journey of a soul; demons, fears, things that inhibit us from living, from taking risks, from communicating, from allowing ourselves to love, from becoming who we are.

I love tears, laughter, and guts guts guts. get them out, raw, on the table.
If we're going to do this, let's do it right, and let's not pull out early.

So that's what I'm drawn to. If I look at what I catch myself thinking about during the day, when I catch myself daydreaming, when I catch vapors of visions I have, the stories and the questions and the experiences that are rolling around my head like a ball of exotic yarn are ones that deal with those issues.

So, what's next Mo'Hawkins?
Well, I think for the next 6 or 7 years ( the remaining years of my roaring twenties, sad but true), I plan to just live. Question. Push. Ride. Laugh. Cry. Experiment. Live and let the roller coaster of life take me. I want to travel quite a bit. I want stormy relationships, long breakfasts, smokes and late nights and long days of being around the house and on the town, and new people, new-ness every day. staying balanced, staying present. Family family friends friends. good time after good time layered all on each other like a sexy orgy.

I want to move to France and get fluent and teach and have a home base in Europe. I want to be a Fulbright scholar. I want to go to Sudan, possibly, and possibly other places and do theater as a means for peace-building. I want to continue to do theater in the US and abroad. I want to keep learning and keep building up my resume.

I want to continue working on my writing projects... with josette, with alexander, with Ocean, with B&N, with others yet to be conceptualized.

then, near the end of the roaring twenties, I want to go back to school. get serious. Graduate school or PhD program, i don't know, but it will likely be in some dicipline of theatre.

After school, then what?

Well. (i pause for like 1 minute before I started this next sentence.)

I want to start delivering my message. Don't know what message exactly that is yet, but I know I have shit to say. I can already see it in my writing and in the conversations I'm having with my best people.

But how will I deliver my message, how will I point people in the direction of progress, how will I be an innovator?

I don't know. Perhaps after school I will stay in the theatre forever,and that will be my medium.

Or, perhaps I will branch out, and write books, do book/lecture tours, maybe I'll go into film, maybe I'll go into teaching, or maybe I'll try and get a fucking talk show! (i'm not crazy, just watch). I don't know... maybe it will be a combo of some or all of these. I don't know, but it will happen. It's my destiny.

I used to dread this inherent sensitivity that I have. I'm so fucking sensitive and it use to be such a burden. But for some reason people have been drawn to me... so many people come up to me and tell me their issue and for years sometimes I got bitter when I always had to be the therapist (especially in my family), but now I have learned that I actually love it. It is my strongest suit. I actually do enjoy listening, and I have a knack for saying the right thing to people sometimes and I'm told I have good social skills and exude a positive atmosphere.

Okay, good to know. Well, I plan to use this genuine-ness, this heart, this "sensitive exhuberence" that I have and use it to plow my path. To deliver my message. Whichever medium I go into, it will be with the heart and with great sensitivity and from a place of honesty.

I admire filmmakers like Pedro Almodovar and Tim Burton who seem to have complete creative control over their pieces of art. I see this in my vision. I see collaboration with exciting artists, eventually of a high caliber, but I see myself ultimately being in control of my message and not selling out.

One palm reader said that the lines on my palm say that success isn't scheduled for me until the earlier 50's, BUT, he added, that it can happen tomorrow. I just have to make the decision. I just have to make the jump.

Another palm reader told me last summer at Union Square in NYC that the less people know about me the better. Oops. Have I said too much here?

Gotta go.

Come travel with me?

xo Mo'Hawkins.